I want this place to be one of authenticity. A place where it's ok to struggle, where it's ok to not be so ok. An available haven of joy, encouragement, gratitude and love. These words I write because that is my heart but also this week has been one of those weeks. You know those weeks where you feel like you have given 110% of yourself, but it all seems for lack? The weeks when the transitions come and they just weren't supposed to be this hard but they are? And you are empty and disappointed and once the tears start, they don't stop?
If that's relatable to you at all, then take heart because you are not alone. I was there this week and at the end of myself. The Enemy finds so much pleasure in those times, when he can remind you how God promised good things but He isn't coming through for you. And sometimes you believe that because it seems so true. When life is hard and things aren't going how you expected, and you are wondering if you heard that still, small voice in your heart accurately. Because if you let the Holy Spirit guide you in a certain way, but then it's an uphill battle and nothing seems the way it was supposed to, does that discredit the direction you were pointed?
Remember the moments of clarity.
God opens doors for a reason and He has never failed me before. Why would I believe that He would fail me now? I get so wrapped up in expectations that I lose sight of the bigger picture when the smaller things aren't going my way. In the muck and mire, I am so quick to believe that I am unworthy. That the things I previously held in confidence must be thrown out the window, because I see no evidence of them now. My pride rears its ugly head because I want to be the best, and darn it, that just isn't reality right now.
Transitions are hard.
I thrive in knowing I'm in control. Its a facade of course, but one that makes me feel secure in my own shoes. During times of transition, just throw all of that out the window. I started a new job this week at an incredible hospital. It's a season of learning and professional growth and an opportunity that is once in a lifetime. But I haven't allowed myself to see any of that. I've focused on the things that have ripped this relational, confident, joyful girl into shreds.
Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart
This is where gratitude is my anthem, and has to be what I come back to. Because this week was nothing in comparison to what others have going on in their lives. But to me, it was the end all. And when I showed up empty, the people in my life took over. They prayed for me when I couldn't do it on my own. They spoke truth into my life and didn't let me remain in the pits of discouragement. And when I came back to the surface, I could see that God had met me right where I was at. He was there all along, waiting for me to reach out to Him. He showed Himself in His people that He has surrounding me. He showed Himself when I asked for a change of heart, and He gladly offered just that.
Circumstances will not steal my joy, because that is one of eternal hope. It's in these moments that I learn lessons that couldn't be found elsewhere. It offers perspective into not only Truth but the areas where my heart needs work.
You are not alone in your struggle. Fight those lies with the armor of God. And if you don't have the fight left in you, then ask those around you to fight instead. This is community, this is family, this is friendship. Beautiful gifts given from a Father who pours out His love onto us. Let that love get in every crevice, because it is there where you will find peace that surpasses all understanding.
"Oh Lord, you have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all of my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to Heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost part of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me and your right hand shall hold me." Psalm 139:1-10
This has always been one of my favorite Scriptures. Read it. Read it again. This is the armor I refer to. It makes us secure as Believers, He has us. Did you hear that? Don't miss it. No matter what you are walking through, you aren't alone. Don't believe the lies that are so easy to grasp onto.
Remember what you heard in clarity. <3
Image Cred :www.haikudeck.com/psalm-139-1-6-part-one-education-presentation-brDDWyio3o
Hey! I'm Stephanie. I'm super excited you are here with me! I'm a lover of all things Jesus, health, family and friendship. Stick around for some wonderful ramblings about life, love & the pursuit of JOY <3